Plain. Honest. Simple.

Trippin’ Out

So I’ve been skating for about two weeks now prepping for boot camp – trying to get my balance and coordination back (jury’s still out on that). Do you remember what toddlers look like when learning how to walk – you know how they do that Frankenstein thing (arms outstretched, tottering from foot to foot)? Well, pretty much that’s me on skates these past couple of weeks.
However, I *have* managed not to fall and eat dirt (or concrete) which is pretty amazing given the above description.
So today, I’m picking my 6th grade son up early from school and we’re walking out in a hurry. And of course, I come full speed into contact with a fricken’ crack in the sidewalk. Yep. I not only got a running start, actually got airborne for a second, slid for about three feet once hitting the ground and did indeed do a full face plant into concrete.
This of course couldn’t be done in any fashion of privacy. Nope. It had to be done in front of a entire class of, oh say, about 40 jr. high students all lining up for PE class. The (male) teacher comes running over asking if I’m okay (dress around my waist, spit coming out the corner of my mouth). I jump up determined to NOT be the center of attention in my moment of grace, make some joke about paying more attention to his lecture than to what I was doing, smiled my most charismatic (spit-dripping) smile and walked away without limping and with as much pride as I could muster.
My adorable son, who I’m sure was horrified in his own right (how embarrassing to have your mom biff it like that in front of a bunch of peers), jumps in with a comment, loud enough for the whole blacktop to hear and aimed to help me save face, says, “I guess being a roller derby girl is what makes you so tough mom.”
So there you have it, a girl who can’t navigate cracks in the sidewalk is contemplating being a derby girl. Oh lord.


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